It has been six weeks since the Inaugural Honey Day and, while our home life has not been fully repaired, we felt it was safe enough to post a recap of an amazing day - by the numbers. 1,535 - The number of times we asked ourselves “what are we doing?” before the event started. 17,382,292 - The number times our wives asked us the same question. 563,000 - BTUs of propane heat provided by the Goldsmiths. $3,712 - Total dollars contributed to charity. 543 - Times the weather forecast changed during the week leading up. 400 - Cost of the tent that would guarantee it would not actually rain. 333 - Miles the McAlhaneys drove to surprise Reid, in from Franklin, TN. Shame some of you could not make it from [insert Greenville neighborhood here] - it’s OK we weren’t keeping a very specific list or anything. 263 - Songs on the Spotify Honey Day playlist. 262 - Hours spent selecting the Spotify Honey Day playlist. 240 - Number of red knockoff Solo cups we bought for people to use for non-alcoholic drinks. 240 - Bottles of water for the non-drinkers. 235 - Number of red knockoff Solo cups leftover. 235 - Also number of bottles of water leftover. 200+ - People having a great time (slideshow included for proof): We also have some great ones of all the kids playing but they are too close up to show without parent permission. 123 - Adult BBQ plates sold. 100 - Wings smoked. Also, the number of degrees Reid’s smoker dropped when NMB Chris put 100 raw wings in it about 2 hours before start time. 90 - Child BBQ plates sold. 70 - Percent chance of rain when we went to bed Friday night. 63 - The number of fluid ounces of peach cobbler “juice” that remained on the backseat of the delivery person’s sedan. 56 - High temperature. 50 - The number of minutes before Reid’s iPhone 3s battery went dead trying to do timelapse video. But it was super sweet. He will upgrade to the 4 for next year. 47 - The number of days before feeling returned to Brandt’s fingers after pulling *hot* barbecue. 25 - Number of people who could not attend, but still donated to the cause. One of these generous people addressed the check to us both at Brandt’s home address (maybe this has gone too far): 23 - Parts leftover when NMB Chris assembled an outdoor propane heater new out of the box. Photo evidence - just look at the confusion on his face: Did I say “confusion”? 17 - The number of seconds left before a full pan of mac & cheese would have been engulfed in flames if Jenks had not smothered the sterno. More on this technique later. 16 - Boston butts smoked. 12 - Boston butts that we were confident had been cooked properly. 11 - Selfies attempted after 9 p.m.: 10 - Number of koozies sold. We pretty much forgot all about these until too late for it to matter; we ship nationwide and international! 9 - Number of times you would have laughed out loud if you had watched Reid load his Big Green Egg onto the utility trailer by himself in the dark. 8 - Racks of ribs smoked. 7.50 - Alcohol-by-volume percentage of the Jai Alai beer Reid thought would be a good idea to drink in the final hours before people arrived. 7 - Instagram posts we made that day on @notmyboys. 6.5 - Number of Instagram posts that probably should not have been made. 6 p.m. - Start time. 5 - People who went out of their way to compliment on how much they enjoyed the baked beans. The faint smoky flavor seems to be what set them apart from other beans they have had. Consider this next expert tip a gift: To get that special baked bean flavor, there are just a few simple steps you must follow. First, get 4 cafeteria- sized cans of Bush’s Baked Beans and dump them into a pot. Place the pot on indirect heat. (In this case, they were placed on the firebox of a smoker.) Forget you placed them on the heat. This is very important. This will establish the first layer of smoky flavor. It comes from burning the bottom layer of beans due to not stirring two feet deep of beans for more than an hour. Then move the beans to direct heat since the top of the beans “are not warm enough.” Any amatuer cook can acheive that layer of flavor, but it is this next piece of advice that will really set you apart: Pour the beans into a full-size aluminum pan and place over sterno heat. The key here is to improperly set-up the sterno by forgetting to include the water pan buffer. The act of placing the beans directly over the sterno will complete the final burn, I mean smoke, layer. But they were good! 4.5 - Hours of sleep Friday night, before waking at 3:00 a.m. to be sure we finished cooking in “plenty of time”. Ha, ha, ha. 4 - Sauce varietals on the table - mustard, red, vinegar, white. 4 - Weeks after the party that a bowl of peach cobbler was found on a shelf in the garage. 4 - States represented by those in attendance - South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Chanticleer. 4 - South Carolina counties represented by those in attendance - Charleston, Greenville, Richland, Spartanburg. 4 - Brands of smokers present - Big Green Egg, Camelback, Lang, Weber. 3 - Brands of smokers that were used; the Lang sat quiet as owner/operator Matt Carpenter came down with something the night before. And by came down with something we mean wisely decided this was a potential disaster in the making and better to sit it out. 3 - The time on the clock when our day began. 3 - Items in lost and found the next morning - a blue dog pacifier, a Hitachi impact driver, and of course a Thomas Jefferson-themed rocks glass: 3 - People who asked for to-go plates before the 6:00 p.m. start time. 2 - People who returned at 9:00pm to get a to-go plate after they were denied a plate at 5:45pm. 2 - Looks of bewilderment. The first was on the face of Clay when she asked if Brandt had ever eaten the cucumber and tomato salad we were about to serve to more than 200 people (answer: no). The second was on the face of Brandt when the sides were delivered and two of the pans were labeled “Pasta Salad.” 2 - Public servants in the house: a city councilman with 3 months of experience and a former US Secretary of Education and Governor of South Carolina with almost 40 years in public office. The Secretary was enjoying barbecue with his special friend, the Incomparable Betty Farr: 2 - People following the Spotify Honey Day playlist.
1 - Musician present who has played with such acclaimed groups as The Rebels and Atticus Finch, and now moonlights with Five Way Friday. The one, the only, the Beebs a/k/a NMB Rivers. 1 - A family that put more into this day than any other, the Goldsmiths. 1 - Number of people who fully submerged themselves in the koi pond. (Note to PETA: no koi were harmed.) 1 - The number of times Chris pointed to the fence in Brandt’s backyard and said, “In high school, I ran that fenceline like a coyote.” .08 - The pleasingly low amount of rain that actually fell, not until very late in the evening. 0 - Perhaps most amazingly, the number of neighbors who complained. See you in 2019!
3 Comments
Ann Clarke
5/6/2018 10:03:23 pm
Such a fun night!! The food, friends and even more the kids loved it!! Can’t wait for next year. Maybe the Weather Man can help the forecast’n
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Meredith Tuten
5/7/2018 03:43:36 pm
Sorry we missed the fun. We were on our way back from Mexico!
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Alex Stalvey
5/31/2018 10:26:56 pm
I won’t miss 2019...that’s awesome!
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